Do you remember the days when i caught hold of your fingers and walked on the road saying the rhymes? Do you recollect the efforts you have taken to teach me cycling? Do you remember the kind concern you had to press my clothes and make me wear to look smart with a tie? Do you remember the pain you took to take me the massive High court building? Do you remember the anxiety you had in showing me the stamatis ship which wrecked near Marina?
You will. But you can’t share now to anyone as you left close to thirteen years ago. I remember you almost every day.
Somehow you flash in my mind in some context or the other. You taught me English with its style but i could not grab a bit from you on any aspect. Be it a mechanical mind or an innovative skill or your lovely handwriting i could not catch up with you in any manner.
Sad Isn’t so? How happy you were to see me in the college and how pride you were to tell the world that i was the first person to enter the college in the family? It was all the perfect love, care and concern which was purely unconditional.
You had high hopes on me in life but i could not fulfill a bit of your Dream. Fact is i was incapable.
I still remember the kindness you showed me in getting sweet and Karam in Udupi shanta Bhavan after admitting me in PS High School almost five decades ago.
You were there and now too in life in every sphere of my life. Because it was a Biksha to me to what i am today. Who can fondly call me as Ayya with all love other than you? And who can show the strict father in you with a belt on hand and the whippings ? It’s all My appa.
Now i realise what the love and life is? But it’s too late now.
I still remember the Joyous time when you took me to the Famous Hatari and the theme music is still lingering in Minds.
My memory is etched with you in every moment and movement of my life. What a lovely drawing you drew and plans for the erstwhile Madras Corporation? How many pats you had in life? You are an iyengar for office, Rajamani for relatives, Seshadri Mama for neighbours and Appa for me now and ever.
Today 21st January this Thai Amavasya marks your Hundredth Birthday.
I cannot speak to you and you cannot too. But if only you are capable enough to hear what i say and if only i could communicate to a departed soul all i can say is “Forgive me appa”.
With Tears on roll what i can say and how i can equate to all that you have done to me.
Appa, My fingers are ready to catch hold your hand now too. Where are you? Please touch me a moment and my life will see its fullest completion. My Namaskaram.